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圣诞节用的粉色拖鞋

去年,新的圣诞节广告首播。我注意到了,因为a)我喜欢圣诞节b)它是由我的一位老同事概念化的,因此填补了我在Facebook上的时间表,并且c)它解决了阿尔茨海默氏症的问题。

There’s not a single day that goes past when I don’t think about my mother. 她 was diagnosed with 老年痴呆症’s at the age of 49, whilst I was taking my GCSE exams, and passed away just after her 60th birthday.

希尔帕和她妈妈During my teenage years and my 20s I would dread Christmas. For me, it was a sign of time passing away and every year I’d ask myself whether Mummy would remember me by the following Christmas. Would she recognise my face? Would she be able to talk to me? Would she know I was even there? And I’m very sad and sorry to say that with every Christmas that passed, Mummy became less and less like the woman who took care of me. 她 didn’t know who I was. 她 didn’t write me cards or buy me presents. 她 didn’t say ‘Happy Christmas’. 她 eventually didn’t say or do anything. 她 was just there. A shell of herself. Trapped in her mind. Trapped by a brain that could no longer function. And then she died.

多年以来,我一直不想承认她出了什么问题。我没有告诉很多朋友或同事。我试图假装一切正常。我很惭愧。好伤心和害怕。我把头埋在沙子里。我想,我陷入了自己的想法。

当我看到 “圣诞老人忘了” 第一次带回了我对圣诞节不是真的圣诞节的所有记忆。我记得,就像我每年一样,大约是我妈咪最后一次给我买圣诞礼物。

在圣诞节之前,她被正式诊断出患有老年痴呆症。 (直到那时,似乎还没有人认真对待它。“她只是健忘”,“沮丧”,“她需要在房子周围提供更多帮助”)。一个住在我们对面的好老太太叫Mim,她经常和妈咪在一起,并知道她病了。一天早晨,在学校放假期间,我仍在床上-因为那是青少年的行为-妈咪进来问我我们把剪刀放在哪里。我告诉她了。然后她进来问我们把录音带放在哪里。我告诉她了。然后她进来问我们把包装纸放在哪里–激怒了,我问她是否只想让我包装一些礼物。 “不,”她说,“我有礼物要送给你”。事实证明,米姆(Mim)带妈妈去公交车去圣诞节购物。

那天早上晚些时候,我在走廊的树下偷看了两个随意包装的礼物。没有附加姓名标签,但我知道它们来自她。一个给我。一个给Pappa。

The next day, before he went to work, Pappa asked me if I knew where his aftershave was, as he couldn’t find it anywhere. Mummy had a habit of ‘tidying up’ and putting our belongings in random places and then forgetting where she’d put them. I had an inkling she’d perhaps wrapped his aftershave and put it under the tree. Once Pappa had left, I asked her if she knew where his aftershave was. 她 didn’t. I asked if maybe she’d wrapped it up. 她 said she couldn’t remember. So together we found the gift she’d placed under the tree, carefully unwrapped it, and realised that whilst she’d bought a new bottle of aftershave for him (Mim had suggested she bring his old bottle on the shopping trip so she’d know which one to get), she’d wrapped the old with the new. We put the old bottle back on Pappa’s shelf and rewrapped his gift.

Come Christmas Day, which must have been about a week later, Mummy didn’t remember she’d bought presents for us. I did. One for Pappa. One for me. I opened my present. I knew it would be the last gift Mummy would independently buy for me. It was a pair of pink slippers. I never wore them – I wanted to keep them forever. 她 remembered I loved pink. And she’d remembered my feet were the same size as hers.

圣诞老人博客600px横幅广告

因此,当我听到斯蒂芬·弗莱(Stephen Fry)为英国阿尔茨海默氏症研究中心(圣诞节)的圣诞节广告做魔术般的声音时,很痛苦地知道,木乃伊是我的“忘了的圣诞老人”。

“从前有一个小女孩为圣诞节做准备,但圣诞节却不像从前那样神奇。”弗莱说。 “…在圣诞节前夕,事情开始出错。他开始混淆礼物和混乱的名字。他显得悲伤,遥远和恐惧。情况逐年恶化,直到他终于完全停止来。”


本帖经希尔帕许可’的博客。阅读更多信息: http://mustbethemummy.com/

6 Comments

  1. 卡罗尔·霍夫 于2016年11月26日上午10:38

    非常感谢您分享此Shilpa,它既美丽又凄美而绝望。我很清楚这个故事…我妈妈仍然在这里,但每次见到她时,都会失去对她的迷恋。…我很高兴你有粉红色的拖鞋。
    祝福你,特别是在圣诞节xx

  2. 朱莉·钱德勒 在2016年11月27日下午6:40

    因此,非常不幸和不幸的是,只有那些因这种可怕的疾病而迷失了人们的人才真正理解。我们失去了我的妈妈很多年,直到她去世为止,甚至两年多了,因为作为一个可爱而又体贴的人,她已经很难记住她了,她是xx。

  3. 艾米莉 于2016年11月27日晚上8:27

    那’一篇可爱的博客Shilpa上的文章,并以我与早起老年痴呆症的妈妈的经历引起共鸣’s。圣诞节过的很甜蜜,妈妈不这样做’不知道我是谁,认识她’只会变得更糟。我同意老年痴呆症’的Research Christmas广告非常出色,希望能提高人们对这种悲伤疾病的认识。

  4. 莎朗·科廷汉姆 在2016年12月1日上午11:11

    对于拥有第一手经验的所有人来说,这一定很难。我们的邻居大约在6年前左右住在疗养院,我们和她意识到她正在忘记和困惑,但是我认为只要她和丈夫一起住在她的房子里,’好的。但是她不是’t. I’d经常听到他大喊她很蠢,她’d在篱笆上和我说话,说人们忘记了,但我’可以肯定的是,如果他们生活的人们,我们必须尽力而为,善良而无耻’快点,不要耐心,他们会赢’变得紧张和害怕做错事。我不’不想批评我’我确信爱情会走很长一段路。我跟男邻居说“How is she” and he says “She’s no good”. Marriage is for better or worse. We had 3 Polish lodgers living here and working in her Nursing Home and they urged me to visit her and I have. 她 just lays in a bed in a room on her own with the radio on. A pristine room where she just lays with only the radio and no one to be with her apart from meal times I suppose when she has to be helped and times when she is washed etc. 她 had her eyes closed but when she knew I was there she opened them and attempted to talk. I spoke to her and sang and prayed (she was a regular church goer). I was glad I went. The husband had told neighbours of their own age not to visit her but he hadn’告诉我,很高兴我去了。

  5. 蒂姆·德拉米尼 在2016年12月17日下午2:10

    感谢您分享此Shilpa。除了那些经验丰富的人以外,其他任何人都无法深刻感受到失去亲人这一可怕疾病的现实。去年11月失去了父亲,现在每年的这个时候我的想法充满了愤怒,孤独和恐惧,我希望我能抹掉我对父亲的记忆,并且表现得一无所有;只是为了保持理智!我希望早日发现这种疾病的治疗方法。祝圣诞节快乐

  6. 佐治亚州 在2017年1月26日晚上7:01

    亲爱的希尔帕:

    我以为我’d让您知道,我的体育剧团(是大学BTEC课程的一部分)和我真的为您的故事所感动,我们’将本博客用作对我们最终表现的刺激之一,目的是教育人们关于痴呆症对患者和看护者的影响。我们已经将您的故事变成了肢体动作,当您在我身边移动时,我将您的话作为逐字剧场朗读。当我找到此博客并将其带入课堂时,我们所有人都立即与它建立了联系’如此悲伤而又快乐又美好的回忆,我们只需要执行它。我要感谢你的分享。我们希望我们做到您的话语和您的故事公正:)

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希尔帕·索尔

Shilpa is a blogger who sadly lost her mum to early-onset 老年痴呆症's. 了解更多 on her blog: http://mustbethemummy.com/

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